I know a lot of you will probably say in response to what I am about to write, we all go through this, blah, blah, blah, get over it and do not give up. Yet sadly, many of these same people who are telling me this are part of the reason I am even in this situation.
I have been doing this for quite a while. Yes, I knew what I was in for when I got involved, that I was not going to become the next Mary Higgins Clark overnight. I am not expecting to even come close to that.
But what kills me is when I have certain people who tell me they are there for me, will help me promote my books, or that they will buy them, then I get a statement telling me I am the only one who is even buying my books--it is like a knife going through my heart.
Yes I believe in myself, and what I am doing but that hardly matters when no one wants to buy your books let alone help support you. I even came up with what I believe is a great idea for a contest this year, buy my book, post a selfie with it (which I see other readers doing for other authors when they don't even stand a chance of winning anything) tag me or my book page, and be entered to win one of two amazon gift cards. But guess how many entries I've gotten? Yep, that's right. ZERO.
Selling books is what is going to keep me a published author. That's just reality folks. I am not doing that. I believe in myself but it is doing me more harm than good because no one else seems to.
Like other struggling authors I really can't afford to do much promo wise with my books. I am doing what I can, with these promises from others they will be there to help me out. And what kills me worse is these same people who make the false promises expect me to be there for them.
I cannot continue doing something that means the world to me when I do not have the support I need. If you want to buy my book, then great. Please buy it! Don't tell me you will only to tell me five months down the line that you forgot.
Right now I am in the midst of preparing for an author event that I now don't even know if I want to take part in. Why bother? I keep stressing over how I am going to put together an awesome display on a very limited budget, and I do not have the ability to sell my books there. It just gets so damn tiring and then when you see no one is buying your books let alone seems to care...you just want to give up.
Which is what I am very seriously considering.