Reconsidering things.

I know a lot of you will probably say in response to what I am about to write, we all go through this, blah, blah, blah, get over it and do not give up. Yet sadly, many of these same people who are telling me this are part of the reason I am even in this situation.
I have been doing this for quite a while. Yes, I knew what I was in for when I got involved, that I was not going to become the next Mary Higgins Clark overnight. I am not expecting to even come close to that.
But what kills me is when I have certain people who tell me they are there for me, will help me promote my books, or that they will buy them, then I get a statement telling me I am the only one who is even buying my books--it is like a knife going through my heart.
Yes I believe in myself, and what I am doing but that hardly matters when no one wants to buy your books let alone help support you. I even came up with what I believe is a great idea for a contest this year, buy my book, post a selfie with it (which I see other readers doing for other authors when they don't even stand a chance of winning anything) tag me or my book page, and be entered to win one of two amazon gift cards. But guess how many entries I've gotten? Yep, that's right. ZERO.
Selling books is what is going to keep me a published author. That's just reality folks. I am not doing that. I believe in myself but it is doing me more harm than good because no one else seems to.

Like other struggling authors I really can't afford to do much promo wise with my books. I am doing what I can, with these promises from others they will be there to help me out. And what kills me worse is these same people who make the false promises expect me to be there for them.
I cannot continue doing something that means the world to me when I do not have the support I need. If you want to buy my book, then great. Please buy it! Don't tell me you will only to tell me five months down the line that you forgot.
Right now I am in the midst of preparing for an author event that I now don't even know if I want to take part in. Why bother? I keep stressing over how I am going to put together an awesome display on a very limited budget, and I do not have the ability to sell my books there. It just gets so damn tiring and then when you see no one is buying your books let alone seems to care...you just want to give up.
Which is what I am very seriously considering.

Cover Reveal: The Dream Traveler's Society: The Children's Stories Volume 2 by Christy K. Cagle

 Hello everyone, I'd like to introduce you to fellow Nevermore Press Author Christy K. Cagle. She is the author of The Dream Traveler's Society, and her latest release, The Children's Stories Volume 2 is set for release soon! Be sure to find out more about Christy and The Dream Traveler series at www.nevermorepress.com!

They come from all walks of life and from many different times. They are the children of the D.T.S.. Learn more about Leanne as well as so many new characters like Riley and Damien. Our pasts, presents, and futures depend on them, and so does our world!

Character Diaries. Because They Have Thoughts and Feelings Too.

Most writers have kept a journal at some point in their life. I was no exception. I may have gotten my first diary in grade school, having one through middle school. In the pages of that diary are details of my first crush, angst over being punished by my parents, as well as all the exciting details of my life then, going out with friends, and what not.

Back then I was writing something called The Mystery Club. It was based on The Babysitter's Club, only it was characters based on myself and friends and we solved cases instead of watch kids. I even gave us an adult advisor of sorts based on an actor I had a crush on at the time. I had all kinds of fun writing it. At the end of each story in the back of the notebook I wrote it in, I would actually have journal entries of each character and their thoughts on how the case ended up.
That was the first time I revealed character's journal entries. As a writer, you are always in your character's thoughts at least when they are being cooperative. But in journal entries, sometimes like with us, they reveal thoughts and ideas that do not get brought up in the story line.
In Twisted Revenge, the main character Jocelyn Barnes reveals some of her inner most thoughts in journal entries that are ordered for her to write by her psychologist. In them she talks about her feelings about what has happened to her, and she also talks about things from her past. She also reveals the story line of her book, as she is also a writer in the story line.
Writing character's journal entries is a really fun way to not only get into the character's head more, but it can bust writer's block at the same time. A character's thoughts and feelings and experiences can be enough to spark an idea and realize more about the character.
So, here's my thoughts. Writers, which character from your book(s) would you like to see journal entries of, or for that matter have your readers see? Next month, I'd like to feature authors with a journal entry from one of your characters. You can add links, blurbs, cover photos, even have a giveaway. If you're interested, or want more details, feel free to message me at JenniferBrownAuthor@gmail.com.

Some Writing Advice on Nanowrimo from Author Ellie Potts.

First off, thanks Jennifer for inviting me over. I will not be taking part in this year’s NANOWRIMO, as I will be spending my November editing. Last year was actually the first year I won. Writing a book in 30 days is hard!

My first year doing NANOWRIMO was in 2009, I never finished because my husband got really sick and two months later after contracting MRSA and having blood clots he had to have open heart surgery. So you can understand why writing was the last thing on my mind. The next year we had a loss in the family. Again you can see why writing was not a priority. And then in 2011 I started a new job that November. One I had never done before, and by the time I got home I was way too tired to think about writing. Last year I had some obstacles to overcome but most where towards the end of the month, and by that time I had made it over the halfway point which made it easier. I finished the rough draft actually a few days early then the 30 day mark.

I do want to say that you need to do NANOWRIMO at least once, and actually complete it. Writing is hard, so don’t let anyone convince you that it is easy. I learned that not to worry about correcting something you don’t like, just continue to write. You can always fix it on your rewrite. I actually had to train myself to do that or I would go back and fix it, get frustrated with the story and just put it on the side. By charging on it helps. I find it easy to know how my story is going to end. If I don’t have an ending I am not sure where the story is going. That might work for short stories, but not for actually books. I will actually say this as well, don’t give up. Even if you don’t complete it in 30 days don’t stop keep going until you’re done. The feeling you get from finishing your story is the best feeling in the world, okay one of the best feeling in the world. ;)

For more info on Ellie and her books check out her blog:

http://authorelliepotts.blogspot.com/

The Impact of Bullying.

October is lot of things, a month to celebrate Halloween, a month to raise awareness for Breast Cancer, as well as watch the trees change color and welcome in Fall. But the one thing that hits closest to home for me is the fact this is Anti Bullying Awareness Month.

As a long time victim of bullying growing up, and even some as an adult, I strive to try and take part in the Anti Bullying campaign in some way. Last year I was proud to be a part of a campaign online that allowed authors to have guest posts and give away books. I couldn't do that sadly this year, since my former publisher closed so I am posting on my own blog about it, and telling you how bullying has impacted my life and writing.
I went to three different schools growing up before attending high school. At each school before ninth grade, I was picked on and bullied. Granted, in elementary school it wasn't as bad as it got in middle school. I was actually physically hurt once I was in middle school, getting my hand slammed in a locker, a triangle was thrown into my eye in Industrial Arts class which sliced it open and required a trip to the ER, and I had a basketball thrown in my face on a bus. Yes, everything was reported to the school officials about each incident, but nothing was ever done to the perpetrators because, and I quote my sixth grade homeroom teacher, "They came from a broken family." That was the excuse that made it perfectly fine for them to assault me.
I did manage to have one or two friends throughout all this at each school, even though they acted embarrassed to be associated with me at times. But between the few friends I did have, and my writing it is what kept me sane throughout my childhood. The same goes for me today.
Due to the bullying, and the anxiety I have acquired since, combined I have developed severe depression over the years. I also had epilepsy as a child which affected the emotional part of my brain. Some days for a long period of time, it's a struggle for me to even function as a normal adult. Unfortunately a lot of people do not understand this and constantly expect me to have a smile on my face even when I feel horrible. Therefore, instead of having an understanding friend to talk to, I get someone who just brings me down even more and criticizes me for feeling the way I do. It gets to the point that I am afraid to even voice my opinion online for fear I will have someone coming down on me. I have had others tell me in the past not to be so negative, but when you get in these states it is very hard to be positive. All I need sometimes is just someone to listen and pray for me.

I always try to be there for my friends when I feel like I can be mentally, and it hurts when I can't have the gesture returned. All this has built up over the years to the point that I feel like really all I truly have is my writing. It is what makes me happy, disappearing into a whole other world and dealing with other's problems that are a lot worse than my own.
I cannot stand bullying, and it sickens me to see where it's gone all these years. With the internet it's even easier now to make a kid's life a living hell, and for what? A laugh? Because you're bored? And it's not just kids now, it's adults! My own generation. Authors bullying other authors. Give me a break, people!
It's a horrible issue that should not even be an issue but I have a feeling it will be for a long time to come if more people do not take a stand. For now, all people like me can do is blog about it, take part in a campaign, have a special giveaway to raise awareness, and write about it. I have a few ideas in my new series for a cyber bullying storyline, as well as perhaps a school shooting stemming from someone who has been bullied for way too long while parents and officials did nothing about it.
For now, in the words of Ellen, "Be kind to one another."
Seriously, is it really that hard??

The Inspiration behind Island of the Zombie King, coming soon from Ellie Potts.

Thanks Jennifer for asking me to popping in today. Happy October everyone. I am a fall baby, born in November but it is October I love. When the changes of fall are all around. The temperature is falling; you can wear thin long sleeves, well here in California anyways. Of course October brings thoughts of pumpkins, candy, baking, and of course Halloween. But to me October brings my favorite movie time to TV! 31 days of Horror movies.

I have always been a horror nut. I love the scary. I love a good scary movie that will make me want to cover my eyes, or that gets me to jump. I would have to say that it all started with my dad showing me Night of the Living Dead when I was around four. Zombies terrify me to this day, but I cannot look away! I need more. MORE. But as the zombie craze comes and goes, so does the good and the bad. It is okay though, sometimes even bad movies are fun to watch to make fun of.

For your enjoyment I wanted to share the first chapter of Island of the Zombie King which will be released in 2014:

The World of Decay. . .

Hungry and in need for fresh water a young man is driven from the safety of his apartment. He sneaks out, the sun making him shade his eyes briefly. He hadn’t been outside in over three weeks. The sun felt nice on his skin. He hadn’t seen one of the undead for over four days. He thought they were all dead as he walked. Today he was finally going to get out of this virus infested city. He had walked all day in thought. He saw the bridge. And then behind him came the moans. Had he heard them earlier?

He turned. His cotton candy pink hair flapped in the coastal air filling his nose with the stench. There they were. All his optimism bottomed out. A huge group of men, women and children slunked after him. Their skin no longer living, torn, ripped in colors of off-blue and greens. The bites or wounds that had caused them to be one of the undead clearly showed under the clear sky. He did all he could think of and started to run. He had made it to the middle of the Golden Gate bridge, stopping suddenly.

In front of him came another horde of the undead. He was trapped. There would be no way to fight his way out of it. Dead no matter what. He went to the edge of the bridge, and looked over at the rough waves below him. He would have one last choice on how he died, and climbed over the edge. The moans of the dead got louder as they got closer. He closed his eyes and said a small prayer of forgiveness. His hands let go of the railing, and he fell, eyes still closed.

There was no life before his eyes, or bright light at the end of the tunnel. Blackness. The rough saltwater waves ate him. Tossed and turned his dead body. When the body was faced up, the dead eyes stared up at the sky now clouding over. And something darkened in them, not much, but a small spark. And his mouth opened filling with saltwater. All memories of who he was gone, and now he was just there. It craved flesh, but the water sucked him under. It could not swim, and as the body moved slowly the ocean current pulled it out.

A woman screamed. The high pitch shriek filled the empty city, echoing off the empty buildings. New York, once loud and filled with people, lay in ruin and death. The undead walked the streets, moving to the scream. She thought her plan would have worked, but it hadn’t. There was just too many of them. Her screams died off as the zombies pulled their own piece of her away to eat. Blood covered the streets and windows of the empty store fronts, and moans filled the air as the sun started to fall.

The world now lay in ruin, the dead bodies of millions waited around for movement. Waited to feed. They walked around the north, as the winter clouds threatened snow and rain. They walk around the south where the government had dropped a bomb hopping to stop them. But it didn’t, they walk around the desolated area. The dead owned the world. No more fighting based on religion or race. Beautiful wonders left to ruin. A race left to extinction. A world left to the dead to crumble away just like them.

For more info on Ellie and her work check out her blog:

http://authorelliepotts.blogspot.com/

The Making of Revelations: How it Came to Be.

The Making of Revelations: How it came to be

The idea was born many years ago. Over forty, actually. When I was a teenager. Back then, it didn’t have a name, and it had no real shape. But I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to tell the story of Judas Iscariot. The trouble was I didn’t know how.

What drew me to Judas, is probably what you’re asking yourself, and that’s a valid question. Ask anyone else who Judas is and you’ll get answers that are probably all variations on a theme of betrayal. I’m not sure exactly when I began to question that, but I do know that when I saw Jesus Christ Superstar performed live back in 1971 (or thereabouts), I had an epiphany regarding him. I saw him, not as the bad guy as often portrayed, but someone who not only believed in Jesus but was willing to do what he needed him to do. For without Judas’ “betrayal” of Jesus, the story would not have worked out the way it did. It needed to happen that way. And if you read the Gospel of Judas, he was the only apostle who trusted Jesus enough to do that for him. Gives one food for thought, doesn’t it?

Very interesting, but where’s the story, I wondered. Was I going to take an historical perspective, research the man and his life? Easier said than done, especially back then. We had no Internet. We didn’t even have computers. Research was all done through books. Libraries had card catalogs, a far cry from today when you can log onto your library website and browse their selection, then request what you want. So I looked and I found bupkus (nothing). I had the Bible, of course, but it tends to be limited on information, as well as a bit biased.

So nothing was written, and I let it go, as my thoughts formulated in the back of my head. In the meantime, I was reading, watching… and learning. King of Kings was my first Biblical movie, and I loved it. Jeffrey Hunter’s portrayal of Jesus is very moving, and I was very enamored of the film. Jesus Christ Superstar – I think I know all the words, I’ve listened so many times. I liked the stage version, but the first film not so much.

Besides watching these things and others, I read. Christopher Moore’s Lamb, The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal. What a fabulous book! I loved it! So much I bought the special edition. And I read The Gospel of Judas! Forty years ago I’d never heard of such a thing. Of course I read the DaVinci Code, and watched the movie. And everything began to percolate inside my head…

Then one day it happened. Judas spoke to me, for the first time. And I simply began to write it down, not knowing what he might say, or where his story might lead. It turned out to be quite the story and took me on quite the journey, and led to places that I didn’t expect it to. If he’d have spoken forty years ago, I would not have been ready to receive his message. But my life up until the moment that I first heard him speak prepared me. And the result is Revelations.

The original title was Kyrie Eleison, a tribute to the Mister Mr. song, Kyrie. Kyrie eleison means Christ, have mercy on us. But then fellow author Marie Sexton, who was reading Kyrie for me at the time, suggested a simpler title. A better title. Revelations. So Revelations it became.

I know there are people who will not like Revelations, and by extension, me. People who will not see the message it carries, only that it does not follow what they believe. But ultimately, no matter what you believe, Revelations is a story of love. Love is the message, and love is something that binds us all together.

Revelations is love.

Thank you for having me here, enjoy your day!

Blurb:

Judas has never been very popular, not in any incarnation that he and Jesus and the others have lived through. But he doesn't care about that. All he cares about is following the instructions of God as set forth in the script that they follow. And Jesus. For Judas has secretly loved the son of God for over two thousand years.

But now he decides that enough is enough, and he's tired of watching Jesus die far too early, and for what? This time Judas is determined to see that Jesus lives a long and happy life, no matter what price he has to pay to accomplish it...no matter if he has to make a deal with the devil himself.

Revelations is a story of what could be, told by those who play it out, time after time after time, unbeknownst to the rest of mankind.  They've come back again, for yet another round.  But this time is going to be different.  

Excerpt:

Prologue: God

            It's not always easy to sit on the sidelines and watch what is happening, to resist the urge to intervene in his best interest.  My son's that is. Jesus. But I do so, because I know it's for his own good.  As well as for the good of mankind. I can't let my concerns as his father override my vested interest in the fate of man. But sometimes that is easier said than done.

            This morning I am not alone. Someone else is with me, someone with his own agenda, although we are not as diametrically opposed as some would imagine us to be. Good and evil aren't the simplistic concepts some would portray them as being—there are more grey areas there than you might think. And rightly so.

            He smirks. Too much for my taste, I have to admit, but sometimes he does have his moments, and he too has a part to play in what is happening in the world of men. Someone needs to fill the role of the villain, after all.

            The stage is being set for the third act, the scripts have been handed round, and the actors are taking their places. Will this time end any differently than the others? That depends on my son, on Jesus. I'm thinking this will be the time when he'll make the change.

            "He'll change nothing," Lucifer interjects, although I've asked him nothing, certainly not inquired as to his opinion. 

            I glance at him. He's dressed to within an inch of his life, and wears the most ridiculous sunglasses I've ever seen. I decide not to comment on his fashion sense. "I think he might, this time. I think he's ready for change."

            Lucifer snorts. "It's been two thousand years, and neither one has exactly caught on yet. Why should this time be any different?"

            "Care to put your money where your mouth is?"

            He eyes me carefully. "I would, but you see you have this whole mystic omnipotent God thing going on. Personally, I don't care for those odds."

            I arch an eyebrow. "I may be omnipotent, but Jesus does have free will  and he does possess the ability to make his own decisions. You think I'd stack the deck in my son's favor? Just to win a bet with you?"

            "Let's say I'm taking no chances." He smiles. "Tell you what, though—give me free rein.  Let me do what I want, and you not say anything or do anything to interfere with me? As far as they're concerned, that is."

            I open my mouth to object, he hastily interjects. "No killing, I swear to it."

            That's better. I still have some measure of control over the serpent.

            "So be it." I agree, turning my attention back to where it had been, to my son.  I'm smirking now. Openly.

            O ye of little faith, watch and learn.

Julie Lynn Hayes was reading at the age of two and writing by the age of nine and always wanted to be a writer when she grew up. Two marriages, five children, and more than forty years later, that is still her dream. She blames her younger daughters for introducing her to yaoi and the world of M/M love, a world which has captured her imagination and her heart and fueled her writing in ways she'd never dreamed of before. She especially loves stories of two men finding true love and happiness in one another's arms and is a great believer in the happily ever after. She lives in St. Louis with her daughter Sarah and two cats, loves books and movies, and hopes to be a world traveler some day. She enjoys crafts, such as crocheting and cross stitch, knitting and needlepoint and loves to cook. While working a temporary day job, she continues to write her books and stories and reviews, which she posts in various places on the internet. Her family thinks she is a bit off, but she doesn't mind. Marching to the beat of one's own drummer is a good thing, after all. Her other published works can be found at Dreamspinner Press, MuseitUp Publishing and coming soon to Torquere Press. She has also begun to self-publish and is an editor at MuseitUp.

You can find her on her blog at http://julielynnhayes.blogspot.com, and you can contact her at tothemax.wolf@gmail.com.

My Links:

My blog: http://julielynnhayes.blogspot.com

My website: www.julielynnhayes.com

My facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=527332074

My Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3442231.Julie_Lynn_Hayes

My Publishers:

Dreamspinner Press: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=55_222

Museit Up Publishing: http://museituppublishing.com/bookstore2/index.php

eXtasy Books: http://www.extasybooks.com/index.php?route=product%2Fauthor&author_id=979

WIP Challenge Day 30: What do you do to celebrate when you finish your WIP?

Usually when I finish a work in progress, I just relax and relish in the good feeling of having a book done. I celebrate when I get a book published.
When I first published with my former publisher I went out for dinner with my family to celebrate. It was my first book with a small publisher that wasn't well known for scamming people (at least at that time), or something I had to pay out to have done and be judged for. It was a wonderful moment.
My new release coming up in just a month will also be a major cause to celebrate. It will not only be my re-release after the debacle with my former publisher, but it will be the first time in years I've had a paperback book published that is not through a publisher looked down on in society.

I have come a long way in the last several years. I have had so many ups and downs been through depression after depression, set back after set back, and I am proud of how far I have come. I know there will still be hurdles to go through in my writing career but I couldn't stop writing for anything. It's a part of who I am and makes me happy.

WIP Challenge Day 29: Describe your editing process.

Editing is a painstaking and tedious, but necessary process. A lot of concentration goes into it, because what you are changing and writing is ultimately going to be the finished product that the reader takes in. So everything has to make sense, all the plot points need to connect, words have to sound right and be spelled right.

My history with suggested edits sent back to me has tended to be comprised of  the overuse of certain words, and word arrangement changes and in some cases, total deletions. On the odd occasion I've received awesome praise for a twist in the storyline.
All in all it has taught me more as I do my own form of rewriting and editing before submitting my work. I find myself correcting myself and remembering a former editor's suggestion as I work.

WIP Challenge Day 26: Which comes first? The character's story or the idea for the novel?

For me, the idea of the novel comes to me first and as I begin writing it, the character begins to speak to me and tell me his/her story. Just this week I began working on a new wip, and already having the idea in place it seemed like everything else came naturally. I could even see a clear picture of what I imagined the main character looks like, and when that happens it's a good thing. It gives me hope that this book will turn out good.
A lot of good writing with me is usually based on instinct. I try to trust it most of the time, even when I cannot for the life of me figure out why the character is taking me on this path, instead of the one I originally envisioned. Most of the time it eventually makes sense, and excites me.
Sometimes, the character's story and the idea is intertwined, especially when a certain person inspires a character. Obviously you are already going to have their story down pat for the most part, the fun part is weaving it into the storyline of  the novel.

This is a t-shirt I bought at Paramount's King's Island years ago. My first writer shirt ever.

WIP Challenge Day 25: Was there something you wished you would have done differently?

When I first had my upcoming release published  with No Boundaries Press, it was named In Jen's Words. I thought it was a great title, which related to being a writer and at the time I had not even gotten to the point in the book where the DID came out. (Dissociative Identity Disorder) Which made it an even better fit.
It never occurred to me that people would associate the title with the author's name and think it was an autobiography or fiction based on myself. I started thinking of this after publishing it.

Well, thankfully No Boundaries Press closed which solved that problem for me. Even though I received no royalties from the sales of In Jen's Words (the publisher is a scam artist who ripped several authors off) it has enabled me to correct something I wished I had done differently. I am now on the edge of my seat, anxiously awaiting edits and a cover from my new publisher.
I believe that is honestly the main thing I would have done differently and as fate would have it, I am getting that chance.

WIP Challenge Day 23: Explain your title and how difficult was it to come up with?

I usually try to come up with a title that fits the series, then for each individual book something short but catchy. I've made the mistake a few times in the past of selecting a long title. It may have fit the storyline but I think the shorter the title the better. It's easier to remember as well for a reader.
The Edge of Springwood was named for the "edge" you find in the storyline, and Mercy Park, where two of the murders in Twisted Revenge occur is located--you guessed it. On the edge of Springwood.

This is a shot of Snyder Park in Springfield Ohio, what Mercy Park was based on.

Twisted Revenge just came to me one day after trying to come up with the perfect title, and it fit. Revenge is on a few of the character's minds in the story, and twisted is the best way to describe it.
The second book in the series, due out in January, is Burned by Deceit. This one was a little tougher since it is a Christmas story. You have readers who are more drawn to a story that takes place around Christmas and will flock to it if it also has a festive title. But you will also turn some others away. I thought Burned by Deceit is not only neutral but catchy as you can get, and stay within the storyline, because there is plenty of deceit going on in this book, and plenty of fire to go with it.
As for my other series The Next Page, it was easy and I actually came up with the title while still in the first stages of writing it. The Next Page becomes the name of the bookstore Jamie and David Brooks run together and it also signifies a change in their lives, they are going to the next page, literally speaking. Jamie is also a struggling author, so there you have another fit.
The first book in the series is titled Prologue to Disaster, and it fits because that is literally what the first book is. Just as they are turning the next page to go forward in their life, they realize disaster is right around the corner. It's also, again catchy in keeping up with the book theme, which I hope to continue throughout titling the series.